Fears Part 2

After the events at the Boston Marathon, I wanted to revisit my post on fears.  You can check out my original post about fears called Bad Guys and Black Snakes and Sharks, Oh My!

In this post, I wanted to share some links that I have come across that have been helpful in speaking with my children about events like what happened on April 15th.  First, I want to share with you a quote from Mr. Rogers which you may or may have not seen, I think it is important to remember this quote, and remind your children of it as well.  “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, Look for the helpers.  You will always find people helping.”

One of the first things you should do in a time like this, is not let your children watch any news reports, unless you have screened them first.  There have been very graphic images coming out from this disaster and I would not want my children seeing them.  News reports are often more sensational than they have to be and you do not need your children exposed to that.


Think about if your children might be exposed to some of this news, either at school or at friends’ houses.  When the Sandy Hook shooting took place, my children’s school had a moment of silence and I decided I needed to tell my children something about it.  I told them that a lot of children got hurt somewhere far away, but I never told them it happened at a school.  In the heat of the moment when I was hearing about the explosions for the first time, I did mention there had been explosions somewhere far away.  I am planning on discussing it a little further with them, because I would rather they hear it from me for the first time.

Here is some great information from PBS on talking with your kids about scary news.  http://pbsparents.tumblr.com/post/48058966053/our-thoughts-go-out-to-the-victims-and-those

Good luck, and remember the fewer details the better.   If your children have some trouble sleeping after you talk to them, have patience and reassure them that you are there to protect them.

By Michelle Winters

Want Sleep Now?

What should you do if you want sleep now and you cannot get it?cropped-SWS-150.jpg

First you need to figure out why you cannot get sleep.  If it’s because your child is not sleeping, contact me for a free 15 minute phone call to talk about your child’s sleep disruptions.  I will give you some tips to try and let you know if you will benefit by working with me.  I conduct in person consultations in the Northern Virginia / Washington DC Metro Area and phone or Skype consultations anywhere else.

If you do not have a child, or your child does sleep, then you need to focus on why you are not sleeping.  Here are some simple steps you can start immediately to help your sleep (assuming your problem is more of a behavioral problem and not a medical issue – you should always check with your doctor if you cannot sleep and do not immediately see a cause).

Limit electronic use an hour or two before bedtime.  When you go to sleep, your body produces melatonin, which is a calming hormone.  Light inhibits the production of this hormone, and the light from electronics such as tablets, smartphones and laptops is particularly bad.  Kill the lights to keep melatonin flowing article.

Dim your lights.  Dimming the lights an hour or two before bed can also help your body produce melatonin.

Create a relaxing bedtime routine. Just like children, adults do well with having a relaxing routine before bed. Do whatever calms you. Some ideas are to take a warm bath, read a book, meditate or do some yoga.

Check your environment. Your sleeping environment should be spa-like. Dark, cool, quiet and relaxing are what you are going for if you are creating a sleeping environment. Your sleep is less restorative if your room is too warm.

Quiet your mind. I know for me, my biggest problem falling asleep is that my mind will not quit. (Many of my blog posts are “written” in my head before I fall asleep!). I have had success with putting some paper and a pen next to my bed to write down ideas. Once they are down on paper, I can let go. Another way to quiet your mind is to use white noise. Your brain focuses on the white noise and if it is doing that, it cannot worry!

Watch your intake of alcohol and caffeine.  Pay attention to foods you eat before bed also – chocolate contains caffeine and can cause you to have more trouble falling asleep.  While having a few alcoholic drinks seems like a great way to fall asleep, your sleep will be less restorative.

If you do wake during the night, try not to watch the clock or think about how much longer it is until you have to wake for the day.  This will only stress you out more and keep you awake.

Keep a consistent schedule.   If you are having trouble sleeping, try to keep your sleep and eating schedules pretty consistent.  So even on the weekends, try to not vary your schedules by more than an hour.

Good luck and try to relax!  Feel free to comment below with any great sleep tips you have!

By Michelle Winters

What to Expect When Hiring a Sleep Consultant

Are you thinking about hiring a sleep consultant but are not sure how they work to help you with your child’s sleep problems?  I cannot speak for all sleep consultants, but I have trained with two different organizations and know how a large number of the consultants work from those organizations. I will give you some general information and some information from my own practice.

Appointment Set Up

Normally, we first set up a time to have an in person consultation at your home.  If you are using my services and are not in the local Washington DC Metro area, we will set up a time to do a phone call or a Skype Consultation.

Background Information

Many consultants, including myself, will have you fill out a form before meeting.  This form is helpful so that we can create a plan before our meeting. I look at your child’s schedule, background information and your parenting philosophies to create a rough draft of the plan. This form can also give me information about possible medical conditions that I may have you go back to your pediatrician with. We do want to make sure there are no underlying medical conditions before we start sleep training.


At the consultation, the parents and consultant together finalize the plan. I do not just give the parents a plan and make them follow it. I find a plan is more likely to be followed through with if the parents have a say in creating it. The parents after all do know their child best and know what will work for their family best.

Follow Ups

After the consultation, many sleep consultants offer follow up phone calls or Skype calls. These calls help the parents while they are doing the training. It helps if the parents have a really bad night and know they just have to get through to the next day and then they can call their consultant and tell them they need a new plan or more support.

How do you choose?

In choosing a sleep consultant, parents should find one that they trust and get along with. Many consultants offer a free introductory phone call so that parents can get a sense of their background and philosophies. I believe that there is no one plan that works for all children and so I encourage people to look for sleep consultants who have a variety of training.

More Information

To get more information on the training programs I’ve completed, check out The International Maternity Institute’s Maternity and Child Sleep Consultant and Kim West’s Gentle Sleep Coach.  You can also look at the Association of Professional Sleep Consultants for more information.

Feel free to contact me or comment below with any questions or comments you have!


By Michelle Winters

Is Sleep Training Just Crying It Out?

388598_franqui_sleeping___The answer to this question, in my opinion, is No.  There are different levels of crying  however, and it is true that any sleep training could cause your baby to cry.

Babies cry to communicate and they can cry for many different reasons, such as being hurt, scared, hungry, or expressing displeasure in a change.  If your baby is used to falling asleep being curled up in your arms and then you work to get them to fall asleep in a crib, they will probably cry to communicate their displeasure to you.

The difference is how you handle the crying.  Do you just leave them in their room to let them work it out themselves?  This is typically what people envision when they think of sleep training and it is the “Cry It Out” method of training.  It can work, and some parents choose to do this.  Most parents who come to me want a gentler approach, or have tried cry it out and found that their child can cry for hours and that they cannot handle listening to all that crying.

I normally recommend a gentler approach where the parents stays in the room with the child.  That way if the child bumps their head or gets a leg stuck or has a dirty diaper, the parent knows and can assist them.  The parent can also talk to the child to let them know it is bedtime and they need to go to sleep.  And if the child gets really upset, the parent can always pick the child up and calm them before putting them back into the crib.

Before I recommend any method however, I always find out how the parents feel about training and I look at schedules and other variables in the child’s life.  I do not believe there is any one size fit all sleep training method, and that’s where hiring a sleep consultant really helps!

By Michelle Winters

“Do you only help children with sleep?”

I get this question so often!  While I am only certified to help children up to and including the age of 6, I do have tips for adults and older children who are not sleeping well.

  • Have a consistent bedtime routine – This is also one of the first steps I give to parents of younger children, but this is also helpful in older children and adults as well.   Do some calm activities so your body knows sleep is coming soon.
  • Dim the lights about an hour before you are to go to sleep.  Dimming lights helps your body begin to produce Melatonin, a calming hormone.
  • Try not to use electronics such as computers, smartphones and tablets before bed.  The light from these electronics can actually stop your body from producing Melatonin.  (Sleep Coach confession time – this is one thing I have not been able to stop doing, but it is a goal of mine!)
  • Use white noise.  If you have trouble falling asleep because of thoughts in your head, give white noise a try.  White noise gives your brain something to focus on, instaead of all those worrying thoughts and to do lists!
  • Keep paper and a pen next to your bed.  If you tend to remember things you need to do in the future while you are trying to fall asleep, writing them down can release them from your thoughts.
  • Don’t watch the clock.  If you are having trouble falling asleep (or back asleep in the middle of the night), watching the clock will only add to your stress and probably keep you awake even longer.  Try not to think about how many hours you have been asleep or how much longer you could sleep until you have to wake up.


  • Get some natural sunlight.  Naturaly sunlight is good during the day to keep your body on a consistent schedule.
  • Do not vary your schedule by more than an hour.  For good sleep hygiene, it is better to not vary your wake / sleep schedule by more than an hour from day to day.  Keep your meal times pretty consistent as well.
  • Exercise.  A recent study by the National Sleep Foundation states that exercise at any time of the day results in better sleep.  http://www.sleepfoundation.org/alert/national-sleep-foundation-poll-finds-exercise-key-good-sleep
  • Eat sleep inducing foods.  Food rich in tryptofan, carbohydrates and magnesium can help you sleep better.  There have also been studies done that tart cherry juice before bed can help you fall asleep.  See the following article for more information:  http://www.livestrong.com/article/138374-foods-that-help-you-sleep-well/
  • Get up and do something.  If you wake in the middle of the night and can not get back to sleep, get up and do something and then try again.

Do you have other tips that can help you get sleep?  Feel free to comment below!

By Michelle Winters